Between 2003-2006 my father ran 5 marathons. I never once heard him tell me a story about hitting the wall. He finished every race he started. Never in record time. Never with a complaint. But almost always in visible pain. Still, never a story about the wall.
A few weeks ago I had a dream. I started running. Soon I was running a race. I was running faster than I have ever ran before. I was piling up 6:00 minute mile after 6:00 minute mile. I've never even run a 5k in under 30 minutes. My best half marathon pace is an 11 minute mile. As each mile passed I thought to myself, "How long is this race? Can I keep up this pace? Am I running a marathon? How long is this going to go on?" Despite my uncertainty I continued along the route of, what turned out to be a marathon, in a time that I never believed I could achieve.
All of the sudden I was called elsewhere. Some day matter from work broke its way into my fantasy. I had to coach someone how to turn on a computer, find their way to a web browser, create an account at a blog service and then type their first blog post. This process took a long time, but I felt unphased.
By the time I returned to the race my personal record pace was all but eliminated. My finish with the elite runners unachievable. I finished the last 9 miles at the 6 minute mile pace but given my delay by the time I finished my final average was an 11:00 minute mile pace.
I have been struggling for two weeks to discover the meaning of this dream. At first I thought that I am not following my dreams and I need to retreat from the world, abandon all obligations and focus on my distance running. Believe me, I would really love to interpret the dream this way. My latest interpretation is two fold.
First, we never know when and where we will receive the call to go beyond our selfish fantasies and be asked to become a part of something bigger than ourselves. I support pre-service teachers as they venture into the world of technology. I love what I do. Each day is a new adventure and I anticipate every opportunity to teach, lead, serve and learn from the future educators of the world.
My second conclusion is that, a dream does not need to be some unachievable thing to be a dream. I had a dream that I ran an 11 min. mile marathon. At first I felt disappointed, that if only this or if only that I would have finished the race in this time or that time. After careful reflection I have come to relish in that idea that my dream is to run an 11 min. mile marathon. I know I can do it!
So what to make of the wall? Having never hit one I can still imagine that they don't exist. But if I hit one? Then, I guess I will just keep going because I know that my biggest hero has already broken through 5 of them before me.
